Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual Bypassing
In a few of my previous posts I have written about the power of positive thinking, and its effects on magical/spiritual endeavours. Usually, this is a very positive thing, however, there are limits to this. Sometimes it can be taken too far. The point where it crosses the line between positive thought over to spiritual bypassing.
So what is spiritual bypassing? Well, this term, coined by transpersonal psychotherapist John Welwood in the 1980’s, refers to when a person uses an extreme positive mindset as a long term solution to avoid facing emotional discomfort. While it is not uncommon to distance ourselves from a difficult situation in the moment to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety, allowing ourselves some time to evaluate the situation, and to act accordingly rather than react rashly, avoiding it all together can have negative consequences. This is why shadow work is so important. Those emotions we deem negative do serve an important purpose. Emotions like anger, fear, shame, grief, are both natural and healthy when not taken to extreme or allowed to fester. They can alert us to danger, provide needed context, and allow us to process difficult situations so we can grow emotionally and spiritually. If we suppress, ignore, or avoid them, they can turn toxic. Indulging in spiritual bypassing can not only stunt one’s personal growth, it can cause other issues like emotional confusion, codependency, or the acceptance of otherwise unacceptable behaviours like over stepping boundaries.
There are a few ways that spiritual bypassing behaviour can be recognized within oneself or in others. These can include:
Forced Positivity: I am sure many, if not all, of you have heard the term “toxic positivity”. I am not a huge fan of this term, but it does provide an accurate visual. You may know or have met someone who always seems so happy and positive all the time, and look like they have their whole life put together, with never a negative thing to say. You may recognize some of these familiar phrases that are often used by people during stressful or uncomfortable situations like “everything happens for a reason”, or “just send it/them love and light”, or “just think positively and it will all be ok”. While these can be comforting in the moment, it can be damaging to simply dismiss how you feel about something/someone, or feel that in order to be a spiritual person you must “rise above” your feelings rather than acknowledge, accept, and process them. Not every terrible or traumatic event is “just” a learning experience from the universe.
Emotional Numbing: This can mean being numb to your own emotions, or those of other people. This is usually done by suppressing or denying those emotions using something like meditation or prayer as an escape.
Detachment from Reality: This one is like stepping out of the self and looking in. Detaching from the situation under the guise that the current experience or one’s physical/emotional needs are not important; that as spiritual beings we are above such things, and therefore, they are irrelevant.
Faux Forgiveness: Forgiveness is important, but sometimes we rush to say we forgive someone before the situation has been fully processed. One might do this in order to avoid thinking about the person/situation all together, or so that we seem more enlightened or “spiritually superior” (an “I am the better person because I took the high road” mentality).
You might be wondering how all this relates to the metaphysical or the practice of your craft. Well, spell craft can be used to aid in spiritual bypassing. Using spells to gain what we might deem as justice for ourselves/others, cursing/hexing, or just simply trying to “let go” before we have fully processed what has happened and how we are feeling can all play a part in spiritual bypassing. Again, it is important to do the shadow work and really process those thoughts and emotions before reacting or trying to “just move on”.
Now this is not to say that many of these things, in moderation, can’t be helpful along our spiritual journey. Sometimes we do need to avoid a possible emotional overwhelm in the heat of the moment. I can definitely say I have been guilty of many of these, especially before studying psychology/shadow work as much as I do now. Many of you can probably say the same. There is no shame in that. Recognizing and acknowledging it, and seeking help when we need it are steps in the right direction on any spiritual path.
So, have you experienced spiritual bypassing? Do you know/have you met someone who is like this? What was your impression/experience? I would love to know.