The Shadows and Light of Empaths

Empaths are a different sort. Experiencing a depth and understanding of emotion that many people don’t. This can seem like both a blessing and a curse. It can take a lot of practice to not let it overwhelm or consume your life.
If you are not aware, there is a difference between sympathy and empathy, as well as empathy and empaths Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone or a situation without experiencing or tuning in to the emotions of the person/people involved. There is a distance and objectivity to the feelings surrounding/within the situation or people involved. Empathy is about being attuned to the feelings of the people involved.  The person empathizing feels a deep connection on an emotional level to the people/situation. This can, if not practiced/experienced, lead to the person taking on the emotional burden, and even present related physical symptoms. One does not have to be an empath to experience empathy. Especially if you have had the same or a similar experience. This can translate to feelings of empathy because you know how you felt when it happened to you. However, even if you haven’t experienced it before, you can still imagine how it would feel, and so empathize with the person or situation. This skill can be developed by anyone. Empaths do this naturally. They have a natural ability to tune into people’s emotions, feel what they are feeling first hand. Sometimes this can be an overwhelming experience. If you are an empath, learning how to shield yourself is very important. So is learning how to tell the difference between your emotions and someone else’s. While that may seem simple, it can be quite frustrating, especially when distracted, unwell, or stressed out and your defenses are down. Large crowds can also pose an issue as empaths can be highly sensitive to their surroundings. They can also have excellent intuition.
There are many benefits to being an empath, not just to the people around you, but to society as a whole. They can be very good at mediating negative/stressful situations. This is helpful in preventing or deescalating aggressive/bullying behavior. On the flip side, empaths can facilitate all kinds of positive behaviors. Their very nature can help improve the well being of those around them by reducing stress, providing strong(er) social networks/bonds, and promoting cooperation, thus helping build and strengthen relationships for those in their personal and professional lives. When empaths are open and communicative about their skills and abilities, and others are open to them and willing to listen, empaths can help bring about better understanding of people’s needs and intentions. This is an important part of moral development. A practiced and experienced empath can contribute a lot of positive elements to any situation.
That said, there is also a darker side of empathic abilities. Being able to feel how others feel and understand what/how they are thinking and feeling can be used in some rather negative ways. There are those that can, and do, take this gift to a dark place. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including early trauma to the empath, a negative influence in their life, a lack of positive morals/values instilled when growing up, or low self-esteem (which they then project onto others), just to name a few. A dark empath could use their gift to control and/or manipulate people instead of helping them. They can create negative spaces, break apart relationships, tear people down, and cause all kinds of trauma and hurt. If they are practiced at this, they could do it without other people, especially those they target, even realizing it is them.  While this sounds absolutely terrible, and I would never condone such behavior, I would like to point out that, just like any other negative experience, this can be seen/used as a learning experience should it ever happen to you or someone you know. Learning to recognize a dark empath is a good first step. You may recognize many of these behaviors as those displayed by narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. While “dark empath” is not clinical diagnosis, any one of the earlier mentioned could be one, or just appear to be one. Tactics often used by dark empaths can include manipulative behaviors like exploiting or praying on people’s weaknesses, deceptive tactics like faking care/concern, pouring on the charm, gaslighting, dark/malicious humor, and fake or forced kindness/generosity. All of these things can overwhelm a person, leaving them confused, exhausted, and even make them feel dependent on the dark empath (for attention/affection/validation), all while the appear emotionally detached to their own feelings, preferring to focus on those of their targets.  All of these behaviors are designed and utilized by the dark empath to gain power and control over others for their own personal gain.
All of this can seem a bit overwhelming, I know. If you are an empath, and this is the case for you, know that there are things you can do to help yourself. There is plenty of information out there (books and online) about how to shield yourself, something I highly recommend. Read up on the topic, you are not alone. If you are not an empath, but you know one,  I encourage you to enquire about it. Try to learn/understand what it is all about. This can benefit both of you. If you happen to come across a dark empath I hope you recognize, protect yourself, and move on safely.
So, are you an empath? Do you know one? Has your experience been mostly positive?